


cowboy crush

by citruscake



Category: NCT (Band), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Crack, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Mentioned Lee Donghyuk | Haechan, alien enthusiast lucas, farmer kang daniel, goth farmer johnny, mark is thirsty, mark is very very thirsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 03:11:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15572406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citruscake/pseuds/citruscake
Summary: city-raised mark is forced to spend two weeks at his cousin's farm, and he discovers that he's into cowboys





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I WAS PLAYING STARDEW VALLEY AND I NAMED MY CHARACTER AFTER MARK AND UMMMMMMM this happened

The last place Mark expected to be this summer was in the middle of a field, desperately searching for cell phone service. He lay on the ground, surrounded by grass, pointing his phone in every direction possible. Letting out a cry of frustration, he tosses his phone onto his stomach and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.

 

Fuck summer.

 

He gets it. He gets that his parents want him to 'go out, experience the world,' all that bullshit. But shouldn't he do it on his own terms?

 

But no. Here he is, in the middle of a field on his cousin Johnny's fucking farm, in the middle of who the hell even knows where. He definitely doesn't know where, because he spent the entire car ride there on his phone complaining to his best friend Donghyuck.

 

It didn't help that his cousin was kind of _weird,_ too. Never in his life had he expected to meet a goth farmer. Aren't farmers supposed to wear brighter colors? Doesn't black absorb all the heat? But wait, in the two days he's been here, he hasn't seen Johnny break a sweat once.

 

_What the hell?? How is that even possible??_

 

Mark senses something nearby, so he opens his eyes. Directly in front of his face, there's a chicken.

 

It squawks. Mark shrieks and jumps up. In a flurry of feathers and grass, the chicken disappears again, leaving Mark a flustered mess.

 

 _Fuck_ summer.

 

He sighs and picks up his phone again, walking deeper into the field as he searches for service. He walks straight until he finds a fence, then he picks a direction and follows it to what he hopes is the road. 

 

His search is interrupted as he hears a voice yelling louder than several _moos,_ and he feels a spark of hope. Maybe this kind stranger would be able to point him to the nearest cell tower, so he could call an Uber and get the hell out of here!

 

He looks across the fence, towards the field where the cows are, and his jaw drops as he realizes he's looking at the _hottest cowboy on the god damn planet._ Why the hell was he shirtless under his overalls? Wouldn't that chafe his nipples?

 

Oh wait, there's a tank top. Jesus, that's a thin tank top.

 

Why the hell is he thinking about some stranger's nipples?

 

Oh my god. One's peeking out of the tank top. Holy shit.

 

Wait, is he wearing a _snapback?_

 

Mark takes a deep breath and _books it_ to the nearest tree, so he can snoop on this hot cowboy. Great, he can't even tweet about it because there's no service. Wait til Hyuck hears about this.

 

The cowboy is on a horse as he rounds up all the cows, no doubt taking them back to their barn. Maybe he was gonna milk the cows? He probably has huge hands to milk cows with. Oh my god.

 

Mark gives up and he opens his Twitter app, rapid-fire tweeting even if he won't be able to send them until he gets home two weeks later. He feels like he's going to have an actual meltdown if he doesn't meet this cowboy sculpted by the gods themselves.

 

Wow. Muscles.

 

"Oh, there you are Mark! How the hell did you get all the way out here?"

 

Mark shrieks again. He turns around and is met with Cousin Goth Farmer Johnny, and his large white poodle, Snowball. God, this farm is so weird.

 

"Hyung, why are you dressed in all black?! You're going to have a heat stroke out here!"

 

Johnny blinks twice. "I feel fine."

 

Mark runs his hands through his hair, stressing out for probably no reason. "You're so weird, this place is so weird, my city-raised ass can't handle this…" his eyes pop open, and he points directly at the cowboy. "Wait. Hyung. Who is that."

 

"Oh, that's my neighbor! _DANIEL! HOW YA DOIN, BUD?"_ Johnny yells in the cowboy's direction, waving his arms to get his attention. Mark squawks and hides behind the tree again.

 

"What the hell are you doing?! I just wanted to know his name, not talk to him!" Mark is whisper screeching at this stupid goth farmer cousin, and when he peeks out from behind the tree again the cowboy is _trotting towards them on his stupid horse. Oh god damn it._

 

"He can tell you his name!" Johnny grins as Daniel gets closer and hops off of his horse.

 

"Howdy, Johnny! Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" Daniel greets the stupid goth farmer, lifting up his snapback and running a hand through his hair. Mark was right, his hands are big. Wow.

 

"It sure is, bud! My cousin Mark here saw you and wanted to meet you," Johnny grins and aggressively drags a squeaking Mark out of his hiding place, "He's here on vacation from NCITY. You know these city folk, they don't know how to say hi!"

 

Mark manages to stammer out a soft "H-hi," adjusting his glasses and waving at the cowboy.

 

Daniel flashes a smile at Mark, and he swears right then and there he could die without any regrets. "Kang Daniel, local cowboy at Wannable farm. Nice to meet ya!" he holds out his hand, and Mark weakly shakes it.

 

Johnny and Daniel laugh at the boy's nervousness. "Say, Johnny, your cousin's pretty cute! If he gives you any trouble just send him over to my place, I'll whip him into shape!"

 

Mark could swear Daniel just winked at him. Did he wink at him?

 

_Whip me into shape, huh? I have a few things you can whip into OH MY GOD MARK SHUT UP_

 

"Well, we better get going. I gotta coop up all my chickens! Nice catching up!" Johnny says his goodbyes to Daniel, who waves at the two of them as he gets back on his horse. Mark waves back, mouth hanging open as he watches the cowboy leave.

 

_save a horse, ride a - MARK. SHUT. UP._

 

"Are you into him?"

 

Mark comes back to reality and faces his weird goth cousin. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

 

"Yeah you do. You think us country folk are dense as hell but lemme tell you something, you're _obvious_ as hell." Johnny snorts and pulls Mark back to the farmhouse.

 

"I swear to god hyung I am NOT into him I was just! Thrown off by his existence!"

 

"You've always been a terrible liar."

 

"Okay fine, maybe I'm a _little_ into him!" Mark lets out another cry of frustration, checking his phone again to see if there's any service.

 

"He's married."

 

Mark's jaw drops.

 

_FUCK. SUMMER._


	2. bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark is bored and bratty. daniel is having none of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this happened on accident i'm sorry

It's been a week since Mark first landed on the weird goth farm from hell, and somehow he's found himself going to that same tree every day to spy on the hot cowboy and his cows. Having given up on tweeting and texting Hyuck, he's resorted to snapping photos instead, always making sure his ringer and flash were off.

 

But today, Mark was getting bored of watching this stupid hot married cowboy with the perfect ass round up his cows, so he decided to do a little bit of snooping. Doing a quick double take to make sure neither the hot cowboy nor his weird goth farmer cousin were nearby, he jumps the fence and takes off in one direction, looking for something, anything to make time pass faster.

 

After what felt like hours (but in reality, was two minutes), Mark finds himself at the beginning of a corn field. He looks around, and he can't even see the hot cowboy's barn or the fence anymore.

 

Shit. Lost.

 

That corn looks pretty nice, though. 

 

Mark suddenly realizes he's never seen a corn plant in real life.

 

He walks up to it, completely unable to grasp the concept of corn not growing on a tree. It's not his fault, though; no one ever explained it to him and he had never been curious enough to look it up.

 

He plucks a corn off of the plant, examining it closely. Honestly, he doesn't know what he's looking for, or what he's expecting. It's exactly the same as the ones at the grocery store. Just a little warmer.

 

Frustrated, Mark chucks the ear of corn straight into the field, letting out a loud whine. This day seriously can't get any more boring.

 

"OW! What in tarnation?!"

 

Oh, shit.

 

That was the hot cowboy's voice.

 

Mark panics and starts running in what he hopes is the same direction that he came from. After about thirty seconds, he looks around and realizes he's even more lost than before.

 

Oh, shit.

 

The sun's starting to go down, and Mark is ready to accept his fate. He sits down on a nearby stump, lets out a deep sigh, and pulls out his phone. He opens Snapchat and checks his hair, making sure he's looking good if he's going to die out here. Then, he takes a nice selfie with a peace sign, captioning it "going to fucking die on this stupid farm haha :)" even though he knows it's not going to get sent to anyone.

 

He lays down on the stump, holding his phone to the sky, silently praying for something, anything, to come save him. Come on. Just one bar of signal. Please.

 

"How on earth did you get here?"

 

Fuck. Anything but that.

 

Mark sits up, crossing his legs and staring directly at the hot cowboy. Today he's not wearing overalls, but the tightest jeans he's ever seen and a flannel. What the hell? What kind of cowboy is this man?

 

"Can you stop undressing me with your eyes, please?" Daniel folds his arms and looks disapprovingly at the city boy.

 

Mark pouts and folds his arms in response, staring back at Daniel. "I was bored. And I got lost, so I decided to lay here and accept my fate."

 

Daniel sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "You know on my property, right? Don't you know what farmers do to trespassers?"

 

"They make out with them."

 

"…Excuse me?"

 

Mark laughs. "Oh, wait sorry, you probably make out with your spouse."

 

"….Excuse me?" 

 

"… You're married, right?"

 

Daniel blinks in confusion. "Where on earth did you hear that?"

 

Oh, you have got to be kidding me. "Th-that's just what my stupid emo cousin told me. He's so weird."

 

Daniel raises an eyebrow. "Right, like a kid wandering around someone else's property with his phone in the air isn't weird. It must run in the family."

 

"Wait, you know what a phone is?" Mark scoffs, doing his best to piss off the hot cowboy.

 

And he succeeds. Daniel takes off his snapback and runs a hand through his hair, clearly holding back the urge to cuss him out. Maybe Mark will get lucky and he'll do more than just cuss him out.

 

The hot cowboy sighs. "Wow, you city folk are so rude nowadays. You really do need to be whipped into shape."

 

"Whip me, I dare you. See what happens."

 

The cowboy is blushing. Holy shit.

 

"Oh shit, did I say that out loud?" Mark is seriously enjoying this. He wasn't expecting Daniel to be so easy to toy with.

 

"……. Kid, you ain't right."

 

Oh, that struck a nerve. Mark stands up immediately. "I'M NOT A KID! I'M ALREADY EIGHTEEN. I'M AN ADULT!"

 

"You're shorter than me, that automatically makes you a kid." Daniel smirks. Mark is furious.

 

"How about you let me prove it to you that I'm not, Mr. Not Actually Married?"

 

"How about I take you back to your cousin instead?" Daniel grabs Mark's arm and starts pulling him away, presumably back towards the weird goth farm from hell.

 

"How about you take me back to your house instead?"

 

"How about no?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mark, daniel, if you happened to read this........ i'm so sorry


	3. aliens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no i'm not going to summarize it but SURPRISE! have some lumark and a happy ending

You know, Mark really thought his 2 weeks on the Weird Goth Farm from Hell would end relatively peacefully. But he was wrong. He was so, _so_ wrong.

 

Like for example, right now, at 2:30 in the afternoon, on his second to last day on this damn farm, he's calmly laying in the fields, watching the clouds roll by through his Ray Bans, Snowball at his side snoring softly.

 

And yes, it took him a few days to get over the hot cowboy from next door, but hey. He got over him, and that's the important part. That stupid hot cowboy was never going to see him as anything more than Stupid Goth Farmer Johnny's weird cousin from NCITY anyway.

 

Mark scoffs and folds his arms, jutting out his bottom lip. Snowball raises his head after hearing something and _barks_ at 100 decibels, effectively earning a shriek from the boy next to him.

 

Snowball runs off, barking rapidly, and Mark sits up, glaring at the disappearing blur of white. God, what a stupid name for a dog. Who the hell names their dog _Snowball?_

 

Then again, what kind of farmer wears all black while working in the field?

 

He takes it back. Johnny and Snowball are a perfect match.

 

Maybe he should introduce Johnny to one of his older city friends. Maybe Taeyong. He's just as weird. They're probably a perfect match, too.

 

Mark is ripped out of his thoughts as he suddenly hears loud noises coming from the neighboring farm. It sounds like… someone yelling and banging pots and pans together?

 

He should know better than to go snooping on that cursed farm, but curiosity gets the better of him, and he's standing up and walking in the direction of the noises. He probably won't hop the fence this time, since he doesn't want to get lost and Die, but that's not going to stop him from watching from the fence.

 

It takes him five minutes to walk towards the fence, and the whole time the loud noises are just getting _louder._ He probably should have expected that, but after a week and a half he's realized he can't expect anything when it comes to this stupid farm.

 

His brows furrow in frustration when he sees a completely new dumbass, walking in circles and banging pots and pans together. The dumbass is relatively good looking from what he can see; a sleeveless hoodie, white shorts, and a white sweatband decorating his forehead.

 

Wow. Tall, dirty blonde, and handsome.

 

But Mark knows better than to fall for this dumbass instantly. Instead, he takes out his phone and starts filming a video, eager to post it on Snapchat once he gets back to NCITY.

 

Mr. Tall, Blonde, and Handsome starts spewing words just as moronic as his actions.

 

He takes it back. Tall, Blonde, and Dumbass.

 

 _"IT WOULD REALLY SUCK IF ALIENS WERE TO ABDUCT ME RIGHT NOW!"_ Tall, Blonde, and Dumbass yells, continuing his circling and banging. Mark squints, and he can see there's a dent in the grass where the man has been walking. Oddly enough (or not oddly enough), it's a perfect circle.

 

Mark rolls his eyes and stops recording, shoving his phone in his pocket. He probably shouldn't be doing this, but he hops the fence again and walks towards Tall, Blonde, and Dumbass, who is completely unaware of his presence.

 

"Would you _SHUT UP?_ " Mark yells through covered ears, causing TBD to stop in his tracks and look in his direction.

 

"…. Oh my god, are you an alien here to abduct me?" TBD's jaw drops and he takes a step back, with a dramatic pose akin to that of an anime character. Mark just raises an eyebrow at him.

 

"What the hell? No, I'm not an alien here to abduct you! You're just _so fucking loud_ that I can hear you all the way over there!" Mark glares at the man and points in the direction of the Weird Goth Farm from Hell.

 

TBD sighs in relief. "Oh, thank god. I was really out here thinking you were a cute alien and I started to question my sanity."

 

"… Excuse me?" Mark is taken aback for a minute. Did this dumbass really just..?

 

The boy shakes his head. _"That's_ what was going to make you question your sanity? Not the fact that you've been walking in a circle causing a commotion for the last ten minutes?"

 

"I've actually been out here for almost an hour."

 

Mark's eyebrow twitches. "Fantastic. Well, can you stop? You're disrupting my peaceful last days on this farm."

 

"Sure, I'll stop." TBD replies, returning to a Normal Human pose. He flashes a grin towards the boy, and Mark may or may not have felt his heart skip a beat.

 

Oh, hell no.

 

"Are you sure _you're_ not the alien?" Mark asks, folding his arms and popping his hip slightly. TBD laughs with the force of a thousand suns, and Mark has to cover his mouth before he starts to laugh, too.

 

"No, I'm not an alien. I'm just Lucas." TBD - wait, _Lucas,_ flashes a peace sign at Mark.

 

Oh.

 

_Hell. No._

 

"… Mark. Nice to meet you." Mark forces his heart to calm down before he does something stupid.

 

Lucas drops his pots and pans off at a nearby tree, motioning for Mark to follow him. He sits down, back against the tree, and Mark warily sits down next to him.

 

"Are you from the farm next door?" Lucas asks, pulling a water bottle from seemingly out of nowhere and taking a big gulp. Mark has to stop himself from eyeballing the guns on this tall blonde dumbass, because _wow._

 

"Uh, no. No way in hell. I'm from NCITY, but my parents forced me to come here to my cousin's farm for a summer vacation."

 

"What! Get the hell out of here. I'm from NCITY too!" Lucas turns to look at Mark incredulously, whose gaze shifts quickly before he starts stammering like a moron.

 

"What a coincidence.." Mark laughs nervously.

 

Fine. Maybe he'll admit it. Maybe he's falling for this tall blonde dumbass with nice lips and calves.

 

Maybe his calves are so toned from all that walking in circles like a dumbass.

 

Wait, rewind. Mark doesn't act like this. He's a Confident Gay.

 

Mark turns towards Lucas again, attempting to look Confident. "So you.. You really believe aliens will abduct you?" He asks, disbelief in his eyes.

 

Lucas nods, kind of like a puppy. "Haven't you seen those stories of people being abducted before? Why would I have less of a chance than they did?"

 

Mark shrugs.

 

"I've been trying for a few months now. I come out here every once in a while to try and see if maybe that's my lucky day. But so far.. No luck."

 

Mark rubs his eyes. "I swear, these farms are on another dimension or something. I feel like I'm the only sane person here."

 

Lucas pauses for a second, as if he's registering something in his brain.

 

"Wait.. Are _you_ the kid who's been hitting on my cousin?" Lucas lets out another ear-shattering laugh, clapping his huge hands rapidly.

 

Wait. Those are some.. Huge hands.

 

_Mark. (softly) Don't._

 

Mark lets out a huff. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

 

"Oh my god, you totally are. That's hilarious."

 

"Let me stop you right there. First off, I'm not a _kid._ I'm 18, therefore I am an _adult."_

 

"Shut the front door, I'm 18 too!"

 

There it is.

 

The nail in the coffin.

 

\----

 

Another hour passes, and Mark finds out more about Tall, Blonde, and Dumbass _Lucas_ than he had ever anticipated. Turns out the boy is heavily interested in astronomy and supernatural beings, and he's outside every night watching the stars, hoping for some sign of extraterrestrial life.

 

And of course, Mark, being the soft moron he is, is starting to develop a crush on him.

 

Before Mark returns to the Weird Goth Farm from hell, Lucas invites him to come back the night before he goes home to check out the stars with him.

 

That's how he finds himself sitting in the middle of a field, at 2 in the morning, with Lucas next to him, fiddling with his telescope.

 

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe all it took was meeting the right person to really appreciate this.. Other Dimension that his parents abandoned him at for two weeks.

 

After two weeks on the Weird Goth Farm from Hell, he finally has found himself at peace with his life. And with this weird alien enthusiast next to him.

 

"Finally!" Lucas exclaims, tapping the telescope gently as he leans away from it. "Mark, check this out."

 

Lucas places his giant hands on Mark's back to guide him towards the telescope, even though the full moon is illuminating the field and Mark can see where the telescope is.

 

Mark thanks every god there is that Lucas can't see his blush right now.

 

"Do you see that constellation?" Lucas points to the sky as if Mark can see his finger. "That's the summer triangle. You can only see it during summer."

 

"Oh really? I never would have guessed," Mark deadpans, earning a laugh from Lucas in response. As he looks in the telescope, he sees the constellation clear as day. (Is that ironic?)

 

He pulls away and looks at Lucas, whose eyes are shining as he gazes at the stars. Mark's heart is pounding so loud he prays the other boy can't hear it.

 

He takes a deep breath. "Thanks for showing me all of this, Lucas. It kind of sucks that I met you during my last few days on the farm."

 

Lucas looks down to him, smiling widely. "Any time, Mark. Hey, maybe when we're back in NCITY I can show you more, if you'd like?"

 

Mark swears he can see pink tinting the boy's cheeks. "… I think I'd like that."

 

He pulls out his phone and hands it to Lucas wordlessly, gesturing for him to add his number to his contacts.

 

"I'll be leaving in a few days, anyway. I'm gonna start my first semester at UNCT pretty  soon here." Lucas beams at him excitedly, and Mark can feel his heart in his throat.

 

"Wait, me too. I'll text you as soon as I get home." Mark sounds hopeful for the first time since he landed in this other dimension.

 

He hates to admit it, but he actually doesn't want to leave the farm now. Even if he'll probably see Lucas in a week, he feels strangely connected to the tall blonde dumbass he found banging pots and pans in the fields one day.

 

God, wait til Hyuck hears about this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wait crap i had to do homework
> 
> twt/ _seojohnny

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry LMAO


End file.
